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Behind Every Cloud is a Kindred Spirit (BECKS)I lost my grandfather when I was 17. I had a VERY difficult time getting over it. How could I still communicate with him? I loved him so much I didn't think I could live without him. I read everything I could get my hands on to do with the "afterlife" and that started it all...the love of Ghost Hunting and the Paranormal. I have been researching the paranormal for over 37 years!! It is my way of staying in touch with my grandfather. Being a Ghost Hunter is not always as exciting as it seems on TV. Many nights I have sat in the dark and not a thing happened. BUT it is those times you DO get that one voice, that one explainable picture or have an experience that sends chills down your back that makes it sooo worth it all!!! My purpose of this blog is not to make people believe in ghosts but maybe to open their minds just a little bit... I LOVE this crazy thing called Ghost Hunting. It is as much a part of me as breathing. I am just a girl that refuses to accept we can't still contact our loved ones after they die. My grandfather won't let me.



You lay down and take a deep breath....aaawwww your day is done!  Time for a good nights sleep.  Once you FINALLY get your brain to shut down from your thoughts of. ..."got to pick the kids up tomorrow at 10, be at the meeting by noon, pay the bills, pick something up for dinner"...and so on and so on....you dose off to sleep into LALA Land...........................or maybe........... HELL!!!!!!!

CREEPY clowns, unknown echo's down the hall, ghosts, dolls, death, blood and guts, being alone, insane asylums, scary haunted houses....if you FEAR it more than likely Hollywood has made a movie about it, so it's no wonder that THESE visions are stored in our heads just the same way the things we LIKE are.  You can ALWAYS find something disturbing to read about, see a movie about or heck even watching the evening news  is pretty darn disturbing! LOL

So sometimes, during the day we may see something that is frightening to us and once we go to sleep it is a FREE FOR ALL in our mind....random thoughts are thrown all around and sometimes the BAD ONES WINS!!!

Lets talk CLOWNS!!!! Growing up as a young girl I can remember...... to be the "cool kid"....... you had to have a clown at your birthday party!  NOT THESE DAYS!!!!  John Wayne Gacy was a dedicated community volunteer whose persona of "Pogo the Clown" masked a dark secret.  In his career as a serial killer, he murdered at least 33 teenage boys.  Most were sexually assaulted.  Not long afterward, Stephen King's IT and its adaptation starring a chilling Tim Curry kept us even more scared of clowns.   Wait till you see what is coming......Will I be seeing this movie???? HELL NO.....DOUBLE HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

A clown phobia may be the most irrational of the bunch, but the real-life connections to the serial killer culture lend credibility to this fear. 

How about a cute little DOLL?????  Again, growing up as a young girl what did you ask for your birthday???  A doll of course.  The BIGGER THE BETTER!!!  Never for one moment thinking that this DOLL is going to come alive and kill me!!!  Again.....NOT THESE DAYS!!!!

Maybe it's their dead, dark, unblinking eyes that watch us, or their stiff hands that just seem to be wanting to GRAB something or someone.  Whatever it is, dolls just CREEP US OUT!!!!!  Their physical appearance often dwells in what psychologists call the "uncanny valley."  This is an anomaly of human perception where some figures look human enough to be relatable, but inhuman enough to freak us out!!!  This may be a reaction to dead bodies, which both are and aren't human.  And in many cases, there really isn't much of a physical difference between the corpse of a child and a doll.  And with that sensibility in mind, the idea of them getting up and toddling around toward us is horrifying!

And that's not enough for us to have NIGHTMARES about....how about the fear of "loneliness"  like...oh I don't know.....like being abandon in an ASYLUM or HOSPITAL?????

No one likes feeling helpless or feeling abandoned, and nowhere are we more helpless than in the hospital.  The Exorcist even features a scene where the possessed child is subjected to needles and giant machines and ends up bleeding in a hospital exam room.  In a movie where a child's head literally spins, this hospital scene resonates.  Why???  You tell me.  The asylum compounds all of these feelings because the label of mental illness means that no one will ever believe what the person says and they must be going insane.  It is an incomprehensible vulnerability!  And if the asylum is abandoned, then the ghosts of all those that have pasted between its walls are sure to seek revenge. 

Speaking of CHILDREN.....aren't children suppose to love everyone and be fun loving and carefree???  Obviously NOT ALL CHILDREN!!!!  The emotional stakes of a story increase when children are involved.  It's natural to worry about and want to protect children who are in danger.  But if the children themselves are the source of the DANGER, audiences are caught off guard in the movies and we as adults tend to have trouble believing such "innocence can turn DEADLY."

In the movie The Omen, an innocent-looking child looks on as his family goes down in flames around him.  Twins more than double this feeling.  Developmental psychologists have noted that twins share an exceptionally close relationship, sometimes to the point where their intuitive mutual understanding mimics telepathy.  Imagine...what they could DO if they put their MINDS to it!!!!!  And no more are a famous pair of twins than in THE SHINING!!!!

And with Halloween coming up what do we see on TV.......... but tons and tons of scary shows!!!  And guess what???  Pay close attention and I'll bet you 80% of the Halloween movies soon to be released have something to do with MASKS.  What is it about MASKS????  Some masks have great, big smiling faces on them and some have unimaginable features....like creatures crawling out the cheeks, monsters, and some are as plain as can be...just a plain, white mask.  What is it about THE PLAIN WHITE MASK that sends fear running through our vanes?  Mask HIDE something......something that isn't always pleasant.......something dark....something that we fear......something that we NEVER REALLY want to be revealed. 

And don't forget WHO'S AFRAID OF THE DARK????  To me this is the one fear that tops ALL fears!!!  The dark can hold any of the above fears in it.  The dark is the "unknown".....and the "unknown" can sometimes kill you!!!  Many people are so fearful of the dark that they NEVER turn the lights off, they sleep with them on and they are NEVER EVER alone.....in the dark!!! 

The dark is where the monsters live that are in our closets, where the ghosts come out and lurk above us as we sleep.  The dark is where your DEEPEST FEARS become a REALITY!!!!  I get asked all the time "aren't you scared when you go to a haunted location?" Well, the answer is YES!  Of course!  No one ever said being a ghost hunter you had to be brave (but it helps.LOL) Not all the time but sometimes.  The difference is....I deal with fear in a completely different way than someone just going into a haunted house for the first time.  I TRULY BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF!!!  I have been doing this so long that I don't really FEAR the unknown anymore....I am more interested NOW in finding out what is hiding in the DARK.....but just to make you feel better I wasn't always like this.  Here's the perfect example of being in the DARK and not knowing what is in there with me or what the dark holds.  I was on an investigation in a private home where there were stories of the children being scratched, things moving, voices and all kinds of other activity.  So I was in a room that a child had been scratched several times...so I'm already a little leery about the space.  It was pitch black and we had already been having tons of activity.....when all of the SUDDEN.....something grabbed my hair and pulled it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let me tell you....I DID NOT TAKE IT WELL!!!!!!  I screamed "SOMETHING IS GRABBING ME....SOMETHING IS GRABBING MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  I was so FREAKED OUT!!!  It was SO REAL TO ME!!!!  Well it was a small room...and my team members were in another room when one came running in and without thinking turned on the light.  My heart was beating soooooo fast........and I could hardly talk.......(and just for the record....I don't act like this all the time. LOL) but I turned around and was pointing to where I was standing and  THERE............THERE THEY WERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  MY GLASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YEP! My glasses that I had on the top of my head had slide down the back of my neck making me think SOMEONE or SOMETHING was pulling my hair!!!!!!   OK OK....go ahead and laugh.......I did myself once I realized I wasn't being ATTACKED by a HAIR PULLING GHOST!!!!

The whole point of that story was....... I was already on edge being in the dark so........my imagination was able to run wild and I let FEAR take over!!!  I literally tell myself during investigations now.....when I am starting to feel "THAT FEELING" coming on "there is nothing to fear but fear itself" and I REALLY LISTEN TO THOSE WORDS......it really DOES seem to calm my nerves or uneasiness.  

Here's the deal....whatever we fear....whatever makes up jumpy.....or uneasy can HAUNT us in our dreams.  And in today's world....we are not offered a lot of "conditioning shows, news, articles or just whatever as comfort" so what do we do?????  Well.....you should do what I do....if I've watched a SCARY show (which I rarely do) before bed or even during the day.....simple solution........I watch 2 hours of I LOVE LUCY and off to sleep I go.

Now.....Sleep tight everyone and PLEASANT DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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