DO OUR DEPARTED PETS GIVE US SIGNS THEY ARE STILL HERE?

Your heart is breaking.....and the tears come pouring down your face like a raging water fall.  You can't believe how much it hurts.  How real the pain is!  If you have ever lost a believed pet like I did this past weekend, you understand completely what I'm talking about.

If you are a pet owner, no matter what the pet....a dog, cat, bird or even snakes (sorry, snakes scare the crap out of me) you develop a love for them that is unconditional.  When you had a bad day.... you've wrecked the car, and have no idea what to do now....you were still greeted with a long, wet kiss on the face when you walked through the door and suddenly what you thought was the worst day ever...doesn't seem so bad after all.  Or your are sobbing at that sad, sad last episode of Friends,  and your "best friend" jumps in your lap and looks up at you with those big brown eyes and gives you THAT SWEET look of "it's going to ok" and you can't help but smile.  Yep.  That's the power they have on us.

So, what happens when we lose them?  We grieve and grieve.  You think about them everyday and can hardly look at a picture of them without breaking down.  Suddenly, strange things start to happen.  You think you see something run through the hall.  You see something jump on your bed that isn't there.  But here's the deal.  Sometimes when we see apparitions or ghosts of a living person, they are here for several reasons.  Maybe because of a tragic event, unfinished business and sometimes the person doesn't even know they are dead.  But pets are different.....
 

There is only one reason their spirit stays behind.  And that's YOU!  Our pets entire lives are built around us and being our companion.  Nothing makes a pet happier than pleasing their owner.  So, guess what?  When they die....that doesn't change. And let me tell, thanks goodness it doesn't!  

Me and Holly-My sweet girl that died in 2015

My boy Tanner.  RIP 

This post is dedicated to my beloved Tanner.  My best friend for 15 years.  RIP my sweet boy.  You take a piece of my heart with you. (Feb. 2004-Feb.2019)

So, if you think you have lost your "best friend" you haven't.  The shadow in hall or the dog toy that suddenly shows up out of know where....is just he/she paying you a visit.  They will give you signs in many different ways to let you know they are still right by your side.  

I want to tell you about my personal experience of a message Tanner gave me the day he died.  My poor boy, Tanner was 15 years old and even though his body was still going strong in spite of wobbly legs and being blind as a bat.  I always thought I would be able to make "that HARD decision" when the time came that he couldn't walk or move anymore BUT NEVER did I think I would have to make that decision because of his MENTAL state of mine.  He started pacing about a week ago.  He would scratch on the doors like he wanted out, but the doors where open.  He would stare into the corners of the room and seem to be so lost.  I wasn't sure what was happening so I took him to the vet who diagnosed him with Dog Dementia.  Who knew that was even a thing!!!!!  She said he just doesn't recognize where he is and it could be scary for him.

She gave me some medicine to try....but it didn't help at all.  After about a week of this, I couldn't take it anymore.  The thought that he was scared and didn't know where he was and being blind on top of that...was more than my heart could take.  I called the vet Friday morning and said, "today is the day".  I feed him his favorite food and gave him his favorite treats and in my mind tried to make it just like any other normal day.  Talking and playing with him first thing in the morning.  But then it was time.  I drove to vet and let my boy go to Heaven without me.  I had never had to make this kind of decision before.  And for anyone who has, even though you know it is the right thing to do, making this kind of decision is the worst feeling ever!!!!  

I walked to the car and began to sob uncontrollably with my hands over my face.  Had I done the right thing?  Did he have more time?  Should I have waited?  I needed help.  I needed a sign.  I let my hands drop and looked to the heavens and said, "Tanner, PLEASE I need a sign that I did the right thing.  I can't move on unless I know."  I slowly started the car and just by habit I turned on the radio.  And there was only ONE sentence that came on.  It was Carrie Underwood singing Amazing Grace...but I didn't hear the whole song only the last sentence...……………..I was blind, but now I see.  And not another thing was said.  Not  a commercial...…..not a DJ for a few seconds.  There was definitely a pause before the DJ began to talk.  And with that, I raised my head and said "Thank you" and drove home with a smile on my face.

Now, I wanted to include an article written by Stanley Coren Ph D., that I just read that has nothing to do with ghosts, or ghost spirits, but it does have to do with death and how when we have more than one pet that the other pet grieves as well.  That's right.  Your other pet.  The one that will stare into the kitchen looking at the dog bowl as if they are seeing something.  Maybe they are!  But lets not forget them in this process.  They grieve as well.  And you know, as much as your pet loved you...they loved your other pet to.  So, it is no surprise that they would come back to say "hi" to them as well.  The article below talks about your pets grief.  I thought it was really good and just wanted to include it with this blog.

Do Dogs Grieve Over the Loss of an Animal Companion?

A poignant study confirms what many owners suspected about pets and grieving.

Posted Nov 10, 2016

• It's well-known that dogs form strong emotional bonds with members of their human family, and often suffer grief when a loved one dies or moves away. However, one might wonder if dogs suffer an equal sense of loss when an animal companion who has lived with them in the same home suddenly disappears. 

I recently visited the home of some friends who have always had Boston Terriers as their companion dogs, usually in pairs, and always in the traditional black and white coloration. Quite often, they also had a cat as a pet, which was usually black-and-white to match the dogs. I always felt that it was Violet's work as an interior decorator that compelled her to have color-coordinated pets. On this visit, I found only one dog in the house. Lou explained that in the course of a few months they had lost one of their Boston Terriers (Lily) and shortly thereafter their cat (Rosie). Lou went on to say, "Now we only have Daisy. She took the loss of Lily and Rosie pretty hard, so we are looking to get a puppy companion for her as soon as possible."

I sat down on the sofa where Violet was sitting with Daisy. She said:

"Daisy was really upset when Lily passed. She kept checking the places where Lily usually took her naps, and when she didn't find her she would whine or whimper. She also got really clingy and demanded a lot of affection from me. Things got better after a month or so but then Rosie, our cat, died. I was surprised to find that Daisy showed the same kinds of behaviors when she couldn't find Rosie. Daisy kept looking for her in her usual spots, began whimpering again, and seemed to want to be close to me. She even stopped eating as enthusiastically as she usually did, as though she had lost part of her appetite."

Although Daisy's behavior at the loss of her canine companion was familiar to me, I was a bit surprised to learn she showed signs of grief at the loss of the cat as well. However, a recent study published in the journal Animals attempts to catalog the behaviors of dogs and cats when they suffer the loss of an animal housemate, and what the study found suggests that Daisy's behavior is not atypical. The study was conducted by a team of researchers headed by Jessica Walker of the New Zealand Companion Animal Counsel who collected data pertaining to 159 dogs and 152 cats. The data consisted of questionnaire responses from pet owners in New Zealand and Australia who owned multiple pets at the same time and had lost one within the past five years. The pet owners were asked to recall how the surviving pet responded to the disappearance of their companion.

One of the most common behaviors observed in dogs was to continually check the places where their lost housemate normally napped or rested. This behavior was found in 60 percent of the dogs (regardless of whether the lost companion was a dog or a cat) and 63 percent of the cats. Virtually the same proportion of surviving pets demanded more affection or became clingy and needy (61 percent of dogs and 62 percent of cats). Increases in whining and whimpering was less frequent, occurring 27 percent of the time in dogs. However, increased vocalizing was much more common in cats (43 percent). Roughly one in three dogs and cats reduced the amount of food they ate and the speed in which they ate it (35 percent in dogs and 31 percent in cats). Dogs were more likely to increase the amount of time that they spent sleeping (34 percent), which was less likely in cats (20 percent). The interesting thing is that these are all behaviors one might observe in a young human child experiencing grief and stress because of the loss of a human family member.

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Two aspects of this data surprised me. The first is that the cats seem to show grief-like behaviors to the same extent as the dogs. The second is that the dogs seem to show an equal amount of grief-related behavioral changes when the animal companion they lost was a cat rather than another dog.

One particularly interesting finding is that some animal behaviorists believe that the grief response in dogs can be reduced if the animal has a chance to view their deceased companion's body. The idea is that this provides closure: The dog will understand that their companion is no longer alive and is not coming back. In the study, 58 percent of the dogs and 42 percent of the cats got to view the body of their companion. The majority (73 percent) took the time to sniff and investigate their deceased housemate. However, no one reported behavioral differences between the animals that saw, and those that did not see, a dead companion's body. This seems to confirm that dogs act very much like human children younger than four, in that they do not have a concept of death as a final and irrevocable separation. Instead, they simply feel the loss of the presence, friendship, and companionship of their loved one; that loss causes their stress and grief-like behaviors.

Source: Anna Baburkina/Shutterstock

The conclusion to draw from this study is that dogs and cats suffer from stress when a companion animal from their household dies. Because of this, they show behaviors which can be interpreted as grief. Further, a dog is just as likely to grieve over the loss of the household cat as it is for the loss of a companion dog.

From me Becky:

Give them extra attention, toys and treats.  Remove or put away all the toys played with prior to the death of their companion.  Anything to do with the scent on it from the companion that died should be put aside and new things brought into the home to bring in new scents and memories.  

And may I offer this suggestion if you lost your only pet.  The love that you had for them, doesn't go away...but the love can also be used to give to another.  The thing you notice...is the loneliness.  The dog not at your feet, no barking, no toys to pick up, no one to greet you when you come home..... it all makes the silence deafening!  Consider getting another pet that needs a good, loving home. 

ALL GOOD DOGS GO TO HEAVEN. RIGHT? ARE DO THEY STAY BEHIND AFTER DEATH AS A LOYAL COMPANION?

You think you feel something at the foot of your bed.  You feel something snuggling against your leg.  What is going on?  Could this REALLY be your beloved pet that has passed?  Of course it could!  We all have, more than likely, experienced the loss of a close member of the family....your pet.  If you are a pet owner, no matter what the pet....a dog, cat, bird or even snakes you develop a love for them that is unconditional.  On that bad day you had, they don't care.  The day you wrecked you car, you were still greeted with a long, wet lick in the face or when you are sobbing at that sad, sad last episode of Friends,  your "best friend" jumps in your lap and gives you THAT SWEET look of "it's going to ok".

So, what happens when we loose them?  We grieve and grieve.  This I know first hand, as I lost my little dog Holly very unexpectedly and everyday my I think about her.  I can barely look at a picture of her without breaking down.  But here's the deal.  I have seen her and I have felt her.  Do pets really have spirits that stay behind?  Some do.  Listen, sometimes when we see apparitions or ghosts it's because of a tragic event and the person doesn't know they are dead.  Or they have to make sure someone completes "their" journey.  And sometimes, it's just to help us with the grieving process.

Pets are different.  There is only one reason their spirit stays behind.  And that's YOU!  Our pets entire lives are built around us and being our companion.  Nothing makes a pet happier than pleasing their owner.  So, guess what?  When they die....that doesn't change. And let me tell, thanks goodness it doesn't!  

Me and Holly

The night Holly died I had gone to the store and I came home and found her dead by the door and I have always thought, if I hadn't gone to the store that night maybe I could have saved her.  Was she by the door waiting for me to return?  The guilt was and is as real as anything I have ever felt.  Holly used to sleep with me so I had her buried right by my bedroom window so that she could still "sleep close" to me.  Anyway, after that sad story, I can tell you that I heard Holly many nights walking in the hall like she used to do and I would see her literally running through the house.  I think Holly knew how much pain I was in and wanted to make it better...yes, even from the other side.  And guess what? EVERY TIME I saw her or heard her I would smile.  So, if you think you have lost your "best friend" that always had nothing but unconditional love for you, you haven't.  The shadow in hall or the dog toy that suddenly shows up out of know-where....just might be your "best friend" paying you a visit.

Now, I wanted to include an article written by Stanley Coren Ph D., that I just read that has nothing to do with ghosts, or ghost spirits, but it does have to do with death and how when we have more than one pet that the other pet grieves as well.  That's right.  Your other pet.  The one that will stare into the kitchen looking at the dog bowl as if they are seeing something.  Maybe they are!  But lets not forget them in this process.  They grieve as well.  And you know, as much as your pet loved you...they loved your other pet to.  So, it is no surprise that they would come back to say "hi" to them as well.  The article below talks about your pets grief.  I thought it was really good and just wanted to include it with this blog.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is...your beloved pet may still be around. So have some treats handy...

Do Dogs Grieve Over the Loss of an Animal Companion?

A poignant study confirms what many owners suspected about pets and grieving.

Posted Nov 10, 2016

• 

Source: John Perry photo — Creative Commons License

It's well-known that dogs form strong emotional bonds with members of their human family, and often suffer grief when a loved one dies or moves away. However, one might wonder if dogs suffer an equal sense of loss when an animal companion who has lived with them in the same home suddenly disappears. 

I recently visited the home of some friends who have always had Boston Terriers as their companion dogs, usually in pairs, and always in the traditional black and white coloration. Quite often, they also had a cat as a pet, which was usually black-and-white to match the dogs. I always felt that it was Violet's work as an interior decorator that compelled her to have color-coordinated pets. On this visit, I found only one dog in the house. Lou explained that in the course of a few months they had lost one of their Boston Terriers (Lily) and shortly thereafter their cat (Rosie). Lou went on to say, "Now we only have Daisy. She took the loss of Lily and Rosie pretty hard, so we are looking to get a puppy companion for her as soon as possible."
I sat down on the sofa where Violet was sitting with Daisy. She said:

"Daisy was really upset when Lily passed. She kept checking the places where Lily usually took her naps, and when she didn't find her she would whine or whimper. She also got really clingy and demanded a lot of affection from me. Things got better after a month or so but then Rosie, our cat, died. I was surprised to find that Daisy showed the same kinds of behaviors when she couldn't find Rosie. Daisy kept looking for her in her usual spots, began whimpering again, and seemed to want to be close to me. She even stopped eating as enthusiastically as she usually did, as though she had lost part of her appetite."

Although Daisy's behavior at the loss of her canine companion was familiar to me, I was a bit surprised to learn she showed signs of grief at the loss of the cat as well. However, a recent study published in the journal Animals attempts to catalog the behaviors of dogs and cats when they suffer the loss of an animal housemate, and what the study found suggests that Daisy's behavior is not atypical. The study was conducted by a team of researchers headed by Jessica Walker of the New Zealand Companion Animal Counsel who collected data pertaining to 159 dogs and 152 cats. The data consisted of questionnaire responses from pet owners in New Zealand and Australia who owned multiple pets at the same time and had lost one within the past five years. The pet owners were asked to recall how the surviving pet responded to the disappearance of their companion.

One of the most common behaviors observed in dogs was to continually check the places where their lost housemate normally napped or rested. This behavior was found in 60 percent of the dogs (regardless of whether the lost companion was a dog or a cat) and 63 percent of the cats. Virtually the same proportion of surviving pets demanded more affection or became clingy and needy (61 percent of dogs and 62 percent of cats). Increases in whining and whimpering was less frequent, occurring 27 percent of the time in dogs. However, increased vocalizing was much more common in cats (43 percent). Roughly one in three dogs and cats reduced the amount of food they ate and the speed in which they ate it (35 percent in dogs and 31 percent in cats). Dogs were more likely to increase the amount of time that they spent sleeping (34 percent), which was less likely in cats (20 percent). The interesting thing is that these are all behaviors one might observe in a young human child experiencing grief and stress because of the loss of a human family member.

article continues after advertisement.
 

Two aspects of this data surprised me. The first is that the cats seem to show grief-like behaviors to the same extent as the dogs. The second is that the dogs seem to show an equal amount of grief-related behavioral changes when the animal companion they lost was a cat rather than another dog.
One particularly interesting finding is that some animal behaviorists believe that the grief response in dogs can be reduced if the animal has a chance to view their deceased companion's body. The idea is that this provides closure: The dog will understand that their companion is no longer alive and is not coming back. In the study, 58 percent of the dogs and 42 percent of the cats got to view the body of their companion. The majority (73 percent) took the time to sniff and investigate their deceased housemate. However, no one reported behavioral differences between the animals that saw, and those that did not see, a dead companion's body. This seems to confirm that dogs act very much like human children younger than four, in that they do not have a concept of death as a final and irrevocable separation. Instead, they simply feel the loss of the presence, friendship, and companionship of their loved one; that loss causes their stress and grief-like behaviors.

Source: Anna Baburkina/Shutterstock

The conclusion to draw from this study is that dogs and cats suffer from stress when a companion animal from their household dies. Because of this, they show behaviors which can be interpreted as grief. Further, a dog is just as likely to grieve over the loss of the household cat as it is for the loss of a companion dog.

MAN'S BEST FRIEND. NO GIRL'S BEST FRIEND! OUR BELOVED PETS....THEY STILL REMAIN LOYAL EVEN IN DEATH



My Holly!!

It is with a VERY HEAVY HEART that I write this weeks post.  I loss my sweet little Holly due to an unfortunate  accident two days ago on August 9th so now she is playing in Heaven.  As humans, we grow incredibly attached to our animal friends when they are alive.  When they die, we are often so consumed in grief that we feel like we might never recover.  Still we do, and life goes on.  And ya'll know me....I will try and communicate with my little Holly in everyway I can!!!  I know she is still with me in my heart.  So today's post is a re-post on losing our pets and I want to dedicate it  to my Holly.....may you always sleep with the covers over your head and have "treats" galore!!!  I love you Sis. Rest in Peace.

We have this GREAT power called "Love".  Love gives us the ability to open our hearts and love unconditionally and TO BE loved unconditionally.  The great thing about love is, we can love many different things.  We LOVE ice cream, we LOVE sports, and maybe one of our GREATEST loves, beside the love we have for family and friends.... is our pets!!!  We cherish them and consider them a member of the family in every aspect of the word "family". 

Sometimes, though, there is an occasional visit from our departed friends.  The nudge of a cold noise, the click-click of their nails on a hardwood floor, the jingle of their tags in the night, the squeak of their favorite toy.  The deep bond between animals and humans, make no mistake is REAL and TRUE.  I am just waiting on Holly to curl up next to me in the bed and make her cute little "snoring sounds" she would make.

Now, according to your belief, animals may or may not have a soul.  For me, I believe anything that can feel love, pain and sadness must have a soul.  Just like us, pets have a soul and when the physical body wears out our souls go to heaven. Now, I know you are asking yourself, how can SHE (meaning me.lol) believe you go to heaven and still believe in ghosts?  Well, I do!  I just think sometimes it takes some of us a little longer to get there. :)  And who says God doesn't allow Angels to visit.  He does.

Again, just like a spirit, our pets may not want to leave their loved ones, and we all know how loyal pets can be.  I believe pets have a GREAT six sense....so when you are sad they know it, when you are happy they know it and when you need a hug and a kiss....no problem......up in the lap they go with a big lick on the face!!!

Our pets are still loyal even in the afterlife.  If everyday you feed your pet at 8:00am and 5:00pm then that is what your pet knows.  So, when they die they may continue to come back at 8:00 and 5:00 for breakfast and dinner.  And when they know you are grieving or sad they do what they do best....try and make you feel better by grabbing a toy, jumping in your lap or on the couch to snuggle.  Let's just say "they have unfinished business" the phrase that is soooo often used when describing a departed soul.

I could talk for hours on the subject of pets, but let me offer you these words of encouragement.....if you have lost a beloved pet, and you feel that you hear them or feel them or even see them....know that the LOVE and Loyalty that they had for you always remains with them.  Take ANY signs to heart and know they are still with you making you smile and feel LOVED.  Holly made me feel loved everyday and I will continue to love HER back everyday.

This may be a little off the subject but I want to say it anyway...I lost a beloved pet named Shasta years ago.  At the time, I cried until my eyes ached and there wasn't another tear left in me.  I grieved like I didn't know was possible.  An with the pain that deep, all I could think about was "I will never love another dog LIKE I loved Shasta."  And I couldn't even imagine replacing her.  As any animal lover knows, you can't replace a beloved lost pet.  But let me tell you what you CAN do.....you can ease the pain, by taking the love you had for your beloved pet and share it with another little soul that needs love and wants to give love.  I know it is one of the HARDEST things to cope with, but when you DON'T replace your pet with another....what you notice is the SILENCE and LONELINESS.  You sit in the house and notice that their NOT in your lap, you notice that your house is NOT full of dog toys all over the floor, and you notice no one is there to great you when you open your eyes in the mornings or when you get home from work.  That feeds the pain you feel.  That's when I welcomed this sweet, little, black dog named Holly into my world.

 I know this is just MY OPINION and MY OPINION ALONE....but I feel, from experience that the sooner your replace the LONELINESS with a distraction of another little furry friend jumping in your lap, playing with toys, making a mess and chewing up your favorite shoes and most of all is being LOVED and giving LOVE the sooner your heart will start to heal.  PLEASE don't mistake what I am saying....I am NOT saying you will ever love another pet the way you did when you lost your previous one but I AM saying....you CAN LOVE another in another unique and special way.

Presley, my daughter and Holly.

Sorry, obviously I got a little "preachy" on the subject but it is because I am very passionate about animals and our bond with them.

I am fortunate, I have two other dogs that I love dearly, so through our house will never be the same without Holly, we will go on and enjoy the time we have with Tanner and Presley(my other two dogs) and still think about Holly everyday.



My sleeping buddy.

The video below is Holly trying to get me to cover her up! LOL